Utah Adventures

Last Wednesday, Paul and the kids and I came over to Utah for his annual West Family Reunion (really, Grandma West's birthday celebration. She's 97 this year.) We spent some time with my sister Jennifer's Family first.  My kids always like hanging with their cousins. Then we did the family reunion thing on Saturday. In the afternoon, we drove up to Rexburg to see Rachel and the BYUI campus.  They've done so much work there and finished a lot of things that were in the works when we left five years ago (wow!). The new I-Center is really impressive, and the campus looks beautiful. And of course, it was great to see Rachel.  We crashed on her floor since it's between semesters and all of her roommates are at home or elsewhere. It's always good to see Rachel. I really miss her!

I miss this girl!

We drove back down to Logan Sunday morning, and Paul hitched a ride back to Reno with the Stamps family, and I went back down to Jen's house for the day and one more night. Monday morning, I gathered up my stuff and my kids and went down to Cedar City to hang with Melissa for awhile.

And we've had quite an adventurous week! Monday, we mostly just hung out and kept life simple.  Tuesday, we took the kids to the reservoir and let them play in the sand and swim and have fun. And they did. They surprisingly didn't even want to leave. Very unusual for the little ones. Then we came home, cleaned kids, prepared dinner, and headed up Cedar Canyon to Cedar Breaks. It's kind of hidden back there. You wouldn't really stumble on it.

It was cooler outside than I expected it to be, and raining (sprinkling really), which the kids really didn't like, so we didn't stay very long unfortunately. I would've really enjoyed exploring the area, but we had to get back for a reasonable dinner time anyway. 

Wednesday we met up with some of Melissa's friends from her ward, and drove up to Navajo Lake. The kids had a great time playing in the water there, and I had fun skipping rocks. :)  I even got a few 9- and 10-skippers! It was a very serene lake.

Between us and Melissa's friends, we counted 18 kids from the six families, and all were seven and under I'm pretty sure. It was quite a group!

This is another area I would love to explore on foot or kayak/canoe. It goes back quite a ways there.

One of her friends, Heather, did Alexa's hair "Tangled" style. She, of course, really liked it.

I lowered many a child down into this ice cave. Like I said, they were a young group. One poor little boy got stuck in the mud down there and I had to rescue him. His crocs had almost completely disappeared beneath the mud, yuck. So, of course, he shared some with me when I picked him up on my legs and hands.

Nate took the day off on Thursday so we could all go up to Zion National Park, the one request I had when I came down here since I've never been and have always wanted to see the red rocks. At some point, I would love to come back and do The Narrows Trail. We went up Kolob Canyon, which had amazing views, then continued on to the main area of Zion. It was gorgeous in there. A place I would love to go back to over and over to explore all the different areas. So much to see!

Melissa is the queen of the photobomb. 

The kids were troopers! Kolob Canyon was about a mile hike round trip, and then we hiked the lower Emerald Pool hike which was a mile and a half from start to finish, and they all did great. I carried each of the twins for very short periods, but they walked all the rest of it, and the three bigger kids didn't even complain at all about being tired or wanting to go home. It's always more fun with cousins, right?

Silly faces!

  

Whole group photo. Everyone's looking!

It's been a really fun week! I'm not looking forward to the really long drive home tomorrow on The Loneliest Highway in America, but it will be good to be home too. I miss Paul and I'm ready to get back to regular life and normal schedules. But, I'm so glad we got a chance to make these memories.

Reno!

well, we made it. and in so many ways, it was actually my easiest, and by far my favorite move yet. because melissa and nate did so much work while they were visiting, i easily completed the rest of the cleaning by myself, minus floors and the refrigerator. seriously, those two were rock stars, and because of them, i actually felt really on top of it by the end. i wasn't stressed out at all and i was itching to get out of there!

carolyn and frank got in thursday evening to help with the move, and let me tell you, it was so nice to have them there! poor paul took the greyhound from reno to medford through the night thursday night. i went and picked him up in the morning. sarah also came to see us before we left and spent the day with us friday. i'm missing her already!

actually, i was so on top of it that instead of spending the day moving things around and packing, the three of us women went to costco to get some stuff, and then carolyn couldn't help but stop at the sportman's warehouse and get some ammo and a few other fun things. then we went to lunch.

by the evening, we had a rather large crew of guys come help us load up the truck, which they did rather quickly, and by 8:00 or so we had pretty much done everything we could for the evening. we left mattresses on the floor and got some sleep. well, most of us did anyway. i might have stayed up chatting with someone far later than i meant to. :)

saturday was pretty easy, we just took a couple hours to get everything finished loading up and vacuuming, sweeping, etc. then we hit sportsman's warehouse once more (yep, more ammo), and headed on our way. it was an easy, enjoyable drive. at least for me it was.  i only had alexa, paul had the twins, and frank, who drove our suburban, had keith.

carolyn and frank had spotted a VW cemetery (yes, cars) on the way up and wanted to stop and get a few pictures on the way back down, so we did. we also found a pair of fire trucks for sale. 

paul was ahead of us, so by the time we got here they were already in the midst of unloading the truck. we had so much family here! it was so fun having my house so full of people that i love. david and christy and kids drove up from fresno just to be here to help, and they so did! lisa and jon and kids, of course, were here, and arlin and diana were also here getting ready to leave on a road trip with the stamps family. so with all those people, plus us and carolyn and frank, it was quite a full house! but this house is actually big enough to handle all those people. i rather enjoyed myself actually.

now, i'm finally getting my house put together, and i will put up pictures once i've got it done. i really like the house though! i think i like it more than any other place we've ever been. and there's so much space, i don't know what to do with it all! it's wonderful!

Mother's Day

We're on the downhill slope of this separate-living thing now.  It's just under 4 weeks left and I'm feeling the crunch.

Mom, being as totally awesome as she is, came to visit last weekend.  She thought it would be a nice Mother's Day present so come so I wouldn't have to be alone, and it totally was.  It was wonderful!  

They got in Thursday night, and came to my basketball game, which my team won with some amazing free-throw shooting and patience against a high school team.  Friday, Sarah came over, and it was so good to see her.  She and Chuck spent most of the day together shopping and then going to visit her current residence in Merlin/Grants Pass.  Mom and I played games and let the kids run around while Keith was at school.  Then, later that night we all played games.  It had been a warm day so we'd opened all the windows and even the front door (which there's a screen on) to let some cooler air try to make it's way through the house.  Around 11:30 I heard the screen door open.  I didn't say anything, but I was thinking "Did my front door just open?  Did someone just walk into the house?"  I thought maybe (hoped) that I was hearing things wrong and it was just a kid opening a back bedroom door and coming down the hallway.  And then I heard big footsteps in the entry, and I started to get worried.

Then, Paul walked around the corner. :D  It was pretty much the best Mother's Day surprise ever!  He was late because the suburban had been in the shop and didn't get done until late.  The four of us then stayed up until after 1:00 playing games and just enjoying each other's company. 

Saturday, Clint and Sarah took Chuck fishing early in the morning.  They ended up being gone all day, which would've been a real bummer for me and mom since we were going to do some shopping together, but since Paul had come home we fortunately weren't stuck with all the kids.  He stayed with the kids while Mom and I went to lunch and then did some shopping.  It was a lot of fun and something we haven't done for a long time.  

Sarah and Clint stayed for dinner after fishing, which was a lot of fun to have so many people in the house.  Plus, the kids love having them both around.  

Sunday was a nice day at church.  They go all out in our ward for Mother's Day.  We got a little basil plant after sacrament, and then third hour, we got a cute little boxed lunch and time to just chat and socialize.  Mom was really impressed. :)  Paul got me a necklace with the kids birthstones in it, which I just love (seriously, he's starting to really rock at this gift idea thing), and he also made dinner.  Sadly, he had to leave around 6:00 to get back to Reno, but mom and Chuck stayed for another day, and Monday morning we all, including Clint and Sarah, went to breakfast.  It was hard to say goodbye to everyone, but at least I have Melissa and Nate's visit to look forward to Sunday!

So, just as I suspected, the first five weeks have gone kind of slow, but now I'm realizing just how fast the next four weeks (less actually) are going to go. So much to do, so little time!  Well, not really, there's plenty of time, but having to stop what you're doing every 30 minutes or less to take care of a child can make the going slow.  What I need is for them to be out of the house for about two days.  Then I would just fly though this house!  Pipe dreams, I know, but hey, a girl can dream!

SEVEN

today, keith is 7. since paul's coming home friday night we decided to do the family celebration, including presents and such saturday so daddy can be there too. we still had some fun today though.

my friend april has a little girl named payton, who also just happens to be a may day baby. so we thought it would be fun to do a combined birthday celebration with her extended family and let all the kids run free, of which there were quite a few. i'm really going to miss the blue family! being at their house is kind of like being at home. there's a lot of them, and they all sing and quote movies and have so much fun. they are super cool people!

blowing out his 7 candles.

trey, brother of baby payton decided he wanted to get in on the action and help keith blow out his candles.

i'm grateful for this dude.  he's a good helper and and he loves everyone.  my grandpa clark used to say of his dog "he knows two kids of people: friends he has met and friends he hasn't."  that statement is also true of keith.  and it's one of the things i love most about him. 

so happy number seven dude!  can't wait to see what this next year holds.

getting anxious

there's a lot to do in the house.

a lot.

pack things, sell things, give things away, take things off walls, scrub everything in sight, find and reserve a moving truck, find somewhere to live, visit with friends and family, and of course, do all my regular stuff.

does that sound like a lot?

hmm, guess i should be doing something and not blogging.

but, here i am anyway.  i like to record the goings-on in my life.  i like to look back and read things that i'd completely forgotten, things that don't even sound familiar.  plus, i think i remember some things better just because i wrote them down.

so, i've got six weeks to go.  i know once i hit four it will be all downhill from there. but still, even at six i know it's going to go quickly.  

but i'm ready.

mentally at least.  physically, well it's a work in progress. 

paul and i were talking about me coming to reno to visit, see him without him having to make the drive and possibly house hunting.  and as we talked about the weekends coming up, i realized suddenly that somehow every weekend between now and when it's time to go has gotten filled.  an i'm not sure how that happened.

paul comes home this weekend, which is great 'cause it's been almost 3 weeks and keith's 7th birthday is wednesday.  next sunday is mother's day. yeah, for real.  the sunday after that, melissa and nate are coming to visit, YAY!  they will stay for the whole week, so they'll be here through the following weekend of memorial day, which paul may or may not come home for.  the weekend after that, the 1st and 2nd, well that's the weekend before we move and i'm thinking i should probably be here to be getting things done.  hard to say how much will still be left to do at that point. most likely, plenty to keep me busy.

so, here we are, on the countdown.  i'm super excited, and ready to get out of here.  and i've got some summer plans brewing (sans kids!), which gives me something to look forward to.  i'm ready for the next adventure.  this will be state number four we've lived in since 2007  i would've never believed that i would've lived in 4 different states before i was 30.  pretty cool.

"i think i can..."

well, week one of single-parenthood went well.  but i also had the weekend to look forward to an knew i only had to make it through five days really.  paul came home and we had a nice weekend.  he spent some time with the kids who were stuck like glue to him for the first day.  but then, sunday came and he had to leave to go back to reno.  and the kids took it like little troopers. seems they're getting used to it.  it probably helped that we had just done a week-plus without him in california.

but now, here we are about halfway through week two and it feels like it's all coming down.  sigh.  i love my kids, but man, are they a handful!  several, in fact.  it doesn't help that they're all so close in age and only one can really do everything for himself.  i'm going to make it, i am, but i swear, by the time june 8th rolls around it will probably be just about all anyone can do to keep me here long enough to help load the truck.  it's finally hitting me just how much stuff has to be packed or junked. 

which is the other thing.  the best part about moving, for me, is the purging.  the throwing things away.  getting to the things you keep saying "at some point we'll get rid of that."  and while it's great to be doing it, it sure draws the packing process out because you can't just throw everything you see in a box.  at least, i can't.  if i'm going to go through the energy of packing it up and making sure there's space for it in my new place, i want to make sure i actually want to keep it.  and there's so much stuff i don't want to keep!  so much.

anyhoo, on a different note, for some reason i keep expecting it to warm up, and mother nature doesn't seem to be getting the memo.  monday it started to rain, which is typical weather, but then i started to hail. it was decent sized hail too.  so, i took a picture, because you know, it was kind of fun.

so then i sent the picture to my friend carolyn and she responded, "the calendar says spring. does medford weather know that?"

and i kid you not, less than 30 seconds after she texted that, it got worse. a lot worse. pea-sized and quite fast. it covered the road in just a couple minutes.

don't worry, i wasn't out there very long, plus i was at the end of a killer workout, so i was pretty toasty.  but you can see how big it was.

anyhoo, it's not much better in reno.  paul said it snowed there the day it hailed here. so i'm going to colder and hotter. what a win, hahaha.  

well, wish me luck and maybe throw up a prayer or two that i and all my kids make it out of these next 7+ weeks alive, haha.

grand adventure pictures

freddy and baz figured out they could crawl through the doggy door.

   

the door looked so big i had to test it out to see if i would fit. who needs keys?

 one of my very favorite people in the whole world.

alexa and keith with uncle frank

 

 gio's not shy at all. only 3 months younger than my boys, i would take him and make him a triplet any day!

brunch on the deck. beautiful day.
 

 natalie, carolyn and me

 sittin' in the freight container opening with my kids and a couple adopted's.

baz, freddy and gio

 

baz brushing lewis

hanging out in the barn, 'cause you know that's where all the cool kids hang.

a grand week

 i am kind of cheap by nature...or maybe nurture. i'm really not sure honestly. but one of the things that i've learned during this period of never having enough money coming in, but somehow always having enough money to get by, is the importance of taking the opportunity to visit family and friends when you can. when i'm old, or even just older, i would rather look back and see great memories and an empty bank account than a full(er) back account and no fun memories. i've also learned that Heavenly Father seems to agree. every time we've had to make a decision about "going" or "not going" i've always felt strongly that going was important, after praying about it. family is important and those opportunities are too few and far between to miss them because we would rather not spend the money on gas.

so even though i was here at the beginning of the month for a funeral and a retirement party, i decided to come down for spring break anyway. and i'm so, so, SO glad i did. this has been the best trip i've ever taken in so many ways.

saturday i went to breakfast with my kids and my mom and step-dad. they're always fun to hang with and they love my kids. and of course, the kids love them.

sunday i got to go to see many old friends from the ward where i spent my youth. and it always feels like coming home, even though half the families are now the families of the kids i grew up with. and then i got to go to a sacrament meeting without kids! i'd forgotten what that's like. and then i got to see a very, very dear friend when she came over with her son for dinner.

monday i spent a day with mom, cleaning, organizing, shopping, just being with her.

tuesday i went to fresno, and got to see some friends from our old ward. it was great to see them again and catch up for just a bit. then, i took my kids to my in-laws and LEFT THEM THERE! when i came home i went to my friend carolyn's house to spend the night. and what a gorgeous night it was. an almost full moon was giving off so much light that i couldn't resist the urge to take a hike up a near hill and just spend some time reconnecting with myself, my spirit, my heavenly father. it was the first time in a long time i got to forget about being a wife, a mom, a friend. i didn't even realize how much i needed it until i was experiencing it. i didn't realize how wrung out i felt inside until i felt a healing taking place. my heart was just overflowing with gratitude and love. i was just overcome by the blessings in my life. then after that much needed experience i got to spend a few more hours just talking with my best friend.

wednesday morning i took a long jog/hike back into some beautiful green hills also all by myself. again, just wonderful. then, a little later i got to take a drive up towards balch park enjoying the wonderful sunshine with windows down and fun tunes. went to dinner with mom and carolyn. we talked and laughed and enjoyed each others company.

i thought the night couldn't get better. i was wrong. later that night, my husband called me to tell me he was offered a job. in his field. after almost exactly four years of searching. wow. after that long, it almost feels like it will never end. as much as i was wanting to hear it, i almost didn't believe i would, possibly ever. it still doesn't feel quite real. ask me how it feels in about two weeks though.

thursday i spent some time with mom at work, then we did a very little bit of shopping. then, my kids came back. and i missed them. but i sure enjoyed and so needed some time away from them. after they got back, we proceeded to drive back up to carolyn's house for a party. and i got to enjoy another fantastic evening of talking with her when we spent the night.

friday we had quite the adventure. carolyn saddled up two mules and we packed in some food to the back 40 (acres). there was another woman and her 4 little ones with her. her littlest child is the same age as my boys. all three of them were on one mule at one point. somehow, we're unsure how, lewis got spooked . . . and all three boys proceeded to fall. but they were definitely protected because all three, though crying and shaken, i'm sure, were totally fine. they hit a hill, which i think helped take out some of the impact, because they didn't just smack they ground, they kind of ended up tucking and rolling. and they didn't get flung into the barbed-wire fence. they just sort of rolled into it, but with their long jeans and shoes, they were pretty protected. the worst of it was a couple bruises (not immediately apparent) and a couple small scrapes on a belly. they got over it relatively quickly and enjoyed the rest of the picnic.

today has been really mellow and relaxed. i'm looking forward to tomorrow and especially monday when paul comes. i've really missed him this last week. fortunately, we've both been pretty busy so it hasn't been as tough as it could've been, but i will be happy to see him again, and so will the kids.

keith has 9 more weeks of school when we get back and then, i guess we move on to our next city and our next adventure. i'm excited for the possibilities, though not anxious for the actual move and starting all over with friends again. fortunately, the church makes those things much easier than they could be.

all in all, life is grand. life is sweet.

and god is good.

summer fun ideas

my sister, melissa mentioned to me a few weeks ago about how a friend of hers made a list of things to do during the summer and each day the kids would pick something. I decided this was a great idea because trying to come up with something to do each day can be tough, but if you don't put some kind of effort into it you could end up sitting around a lot more than you intend do (maybe that's just me), and that leads to boredom and boredom leads to bad attitudes, cranky people and a multitude of other not-so-good things. so, today i started making a list. i came up with surprisingly quite a few things in a relatively short period of time. so, the plan is to print these all out, cut them up into little strips and put them into some kind of "fun jar" that we can pick from everyday. i'm kind of excited about this.

MY LIST:

write letters/thank you notes (color pictures to send, etc) for family members, friends, whoever

movie day

park day

sprinklers/water fun day (water balloons, squirt guns, etc . . . maybe we will combine that one with "washing-the-'burb' day", haha)

fort making day

baking day

board game day

lake day

swim at a friend's

craft day

beach day

go on a hike

backyard campout

hike & seek/outside game day

library day (they really like going to the library)

play date (i may have to rig this one so they pick it on the right day, getting it set up with a friend)

have a picnic

go out to eat

bike riding day (we'll see about this one, since the two little ones can't ride bikes and i don't have a trailer...)

dance party

unbirthday party (we don't have any birthdays between may and november, so this would be really fun.)

art day (drawing, coloring, painting, sidewalk chalk, etc)

scavenger hunt

doorbell ditch day (thinking we could spend half the day making things and then deliver them to various peoples of the ward, or possibly something non-food. we'll see.)

service day (similar to previous, but something more thoughtful and directly personal that, hopefully, fills a need)

play restaurant day (the kids have a little kitchen that they love to "make" things in, so i'm thinking playdoh)

that is 26 things. not too bad, if you think about sundays and paul's days off so we'll do something different in there, plus trips to family and hopefully a camping trip or two).

tell me what you think, or if you have any other ideas. i would love to hear them!

mysterious ways, indeed

first, paul didn't get the construction job. he doesn't have the depth of experience they were looking for. of course he doesn't, the economy crashed less than 6 months after he got his degree. and he's been out of the field for almost 4 years now. and it doesn't look like he will ever get back in.

anyway, he did get another job. and a decent paying job . . . after the first three months anyway. i assume, since it's basically a line job, that there's a high turnover rate, so of course, they give people a 90 day trial before they start really paying them.

he had started the process of getting his contractor's license, which he clearly needs to complete. but when he didn't get the construction job i (and i think he, but i didn't ask, and we hadn't really had time to talk about it) took it as a sign that he needed to start focusing more on creating and trying to build his own business. i thought swing shift would be perfect for that. work from 3 pm - 11 pm, sleep and in the morning, before work he could start doing small jobs and building a name for himself. that sounded perfect, like there was a fix, though one that was going to take quite some time, obviously, to fix.

the problem is, they hired him for graveyard. i'm not sure how he can do small jobs between the hours of 4 and 10 pm. maybe he can. i don't know. i'm so very confused. where are we going? i just feel like we're wandering without a direction, career-wise. that's okay when you're young, but once you get older, it just feels dangerous. (and before you point out that i'm still in my 20's, remember that paul's halfway through his 30's. not old, but certainly old enough to be concerned with having a career.)

if my kids were all in school, it would be an inconvenience at best. but they're not. and they're loud. and he's a light sleeper. hopefully he'll learn to not be such a light sleeper. and fortunately, he does fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

mostly, i'm worried about him getting enough sleep, and about him making it past the first 3 months when we can actually receive the benefits of the job (i.e. enough money to pay our bills!) he will burn out, though knowing him it will take closer to a year. gosh, i sure hope something else comes in that time. 

this last year was the first time in our marriage that he didn't get up and out of the house before 6 am (and sometimes as early as 3:00). it was nice while it lasted.

this will be a new experience for sure.

wish us luck.

only half correct...

keith: alexa, all we ever do is play your girly, boring games!

alexa: girly, but not boring!

there are no words

we were doorbell ditched tonight. i have absolutely no idea who did it. i honestly probably couldn't even come up with a good list of possible suspects if i had to. but it doesn't matter. that's not the point, and i know that. i'm touched. truly, truly touched.

it was a big garbage bag. there was a toy for each kid in it. great toys. toys they'll all love. plus gift cards for us for and some cash. i was thinking, this will help a lot in getting us to california for christmas. i don't even know what to say. i was moved to tears when i realized what all was in that sack.

i can't describe how blessed i've felt in the last few years. there have been so many thoughtful people in our life giving and sharing and helping out, sometimes anonymously, sometimes not. the lord has been kind to us. and i'm so grateful for that. i'm also grateful for the people who are generous with their time and resources, and choose to be an instrument in the lord's hands. i really hope someday we're in a position to help others as much as we've been helped. though i know, there are always other ways to help.

what i'm trying to say is, thank you. whoever you are. i don't know if you'll ever see this; i'm guessing not, but thank you. from the bottom of my heart.

such a boy...

keith was moved to the back bedroom, which means his stuff got moved to the tall dresser. he's just barely tall enough to peek over the top drawer when he's standing right up next to it. he put his shirts in that drawer and his pants in the next drawer down. the bottom two are empty. i asked him why he didn't put his stuff down lower.

he said "i can reach up there."

"but you can't see what you're grabbing," i said.

to which he responded "it doesn't matter."

you'd never hear alexa say that, hahaha.

it's becoming almost comical...

our garage door decided to go out a few days ago. it won't open past about 18" for some reason. we spent some time looking at it tuesday night and realized that the turn wheel above the motor that the chain sits around is broken. it's still there and it's kind of working (it goes down just fine) but because there is a break in it, it can't seem to create the power it needs to lift the extremely heavy wooden door. awesome.

so i just parked the suburban outside. no big deal.

but today it rained. all day. it's still raining in fact. i like rain, for the most part. however, i got in it about an hour ago to take a quick trip to kinkos with paul so he could fax something and discovered that it's leaking. inside. on the top there's a spot to attach a big radio antenna, and apparently, the area around it is no longer water-tight. so there's water dripping down behind the a/c controller for the backseat and onto the floor.

oh, and on top of that, my defroster isn't working. everything works, but it needs freon. but the real problem is that it needs to be flushed out before new freon is put in. that costs money. and therein lies the problem. (does anyone else think it's stupid that you need freon for the defroster? clearly, i don't understand how it works...)

the underside leaks like a sieve too. power steering fluid mostly, i think. but, really it could be just about anything. i know so little about cars.

don't forget i don't have a passenger-side handle! (better than driver, right?)

we have two house doors that won't close when the weather changes due to swelling/shrinking and poor strike-plate placement. again, not really a big deal, but a pain at least.

a couple weeks ago the garbage disposal went out. i didn't want to try to fix it myself in case i messed it up. then it would be my fault and we'd be in trouble. so instead we let the property management company know and they sent a guy over. turns out it was an easy fix. just had something wrapped around it. but since it wasn't "normal wear and tear" it's now still our fault and going to cost me $36.

paul got a phone call that he was delinquent on a student loan bill. we thought it was on forbearance. apparently, it wasn't. it was sent to collections. we had to pay that somehow, and then fill out the paperwork to get the forbearance reinstated (hence the trip to kinkos). 

also, he went to ausland today to inquire in person and discovered that the VP of operations just passed away very suddenly (he was young.) he was involved in the interview process (one of the two guys that did paul's interview), so naturally the whole company is distressed and things are kind of on hold in the hiring department. so, who knows how much longer before we know about that job.

i don't write all this to whine, because honestly, i'm fine. like i said, at this point, each new thing is almost funny. really, i'm writing partly to document it (mom asked me if i'd journaled it. i should still do that, but this is better than not doing it at all), and partly to explain why i really am starting to feel like i'm at the end of my rope (you don't even want to know what my savings account looks like). i'm hoping this is all a good sign. that this is satan's way of trying to beat us down and make us lose hope because he knows something good is close if we can just keep doing what we're doing. they say it's always darkest before the dawn, right? there's always this extra-high pressure period before it's released. like a parting shot?  <~~~ actually, that kind of made me laugh.

gosh, i sure hope that's true. if not, well, somehow we'll survive. and we've been really blessed that the suburban has had so few problems in the time we've had it considering it's age. and most of this stuff is cosmetic or an inconvenience. it's been a good vehicle really. we've been so blessed in so many other ways too. and i really feel that way. 

but, really, it wouldn't hurt my feelings to have something great happen now.  :)

he's the man

for a little extra cash paul got a job two nights a week cleaning. one night he does a toyota dealership and the next he does a diner and the local bowling alley. since mom and chuck were here for thanksgiving, i went with him last night, and let me tell you, that was a whole new experience. not the cleaning part, but seeing the whole inside of a car dealership. including the service garage, the locker rooms, and the boss's private bathroom including a shower and a dresser.

the first thing i thought when we got there and paul started pulling out cleaning stuff was "wow, this sucks." which i said out loud. paul said "you didn't have to come, it's okay." but that's not what i meant. i meant, wow this sucks that after working so hard to get through years of schooling while having kids and working part time for bad minimum wage while still taking out student loans that he still has to take a night job cleaning to make ends meet. kind of. it sucks that he has a degree to do something he loves and instead does jobs that are very boring and un-stimulating because that's what he has to do to take care of his family.

 i loved him all the more at that moment, and now probably every time he continues to go out to clean and go to his regular day job because it's all we've got right now.

and you know what? he never complains. other than occasionally saying things like "i hate retail." (who can blame him?). he just does it because it has to be done. because, seriously, he's the man. oh yeah, and then, on top of that, after he's been out cleaning until 3:00 a.m. he gets up in the morning to take keith to school or feed the kids breakfast and when i tell him to get some sleep he says things like "but i want to be with you!"

if he has to work anyway--and he does because we're poor and don't have any money to our names--then i sure wish he could be doing something he loves. something that pushes him each day. something that gives him the chance to grow and magnify his talents. daddy that's happy after a rewarding day at work is much more fun than daddy who's bored and frustrated and doesn't ever want to talk about work. and i want him to be happy.

so, for this reason, and many others, i am really, really hoping paul gets this job. but either way, i hit the jackpot. seriously, this guy is gold.

grateful

i have so much to be grateful for this holiday. so, so much. we went around the table and said what we were thankful for. i thought of the standard at first, especially family. but then, they started tumbling out. and i would feel so ungrateful not to take a few minutes to mention just a few of these things that i am almost inexpressibly grateful for.

family, especially kids that make me laugh and are quite laid back. really, they're super easy. they like to hug and kiss and cuddle and laugh.

a husband who takes really good care of his family. who does whatever needs to be done and whatever he can do to make ends meet, even when it's terribly unpleasant or a total waste of his hard-earned degree.

a house, in a great location, for a decent price, with good insulation, a good sized yard and enough space for all of us to not be completely on top of each other.

food in my cupboards and fridge. enough to feed my kids and myself and not worry if my kids will have to go to bed hungry.

a mom who loves me and loves my kids and always makes me feel that she's happy to see me. and a step-dad that treats me as his own and has patience for days, especially with my wild kids who love him so much.

a healthy family, all around. kids who have had very few problems.

a strong, healthy, capable body with so few problems that i am free to do pretty much whatever i want and not worry about how it can/will hurt.

talents, hobbies, and endless interests that keep me engaged. and things like the internet, the public library, and friends to help me learn about and enjoy said hobbies and interests.

the fact that paul has pretty much always had a job. and the times when he didn't were pretty short. that there's a job possibility on the horizon, either in his actual field (praying!) or somewhere else that's not his first choice, but pays better than his current job.

being sent to oregon where it rains a lot and it's beautiful and i've made lots of great friends.

immediate and extended family that are very supportive and constantly praying for us and sending us good thoughts vibes.

this list is short and really incomplete, but these are a few of my favorite things . . . oh sorry, had a song moment there. i have much in my life to be grateful for!! and though things could maybe be a little bit better, they could be a whooole lot worse, and i'm happy with where we are right now in life. really.

funerals and tender mercies

a few weeks ago i got a phone call from a woman in my ward i don't even know. not because she's inactive, but because her husband is in the presidency of the single's ward so, of course, she attends church with him across town. her father had recently passed away, and they were looking for a piano player for two family musical numbers. she was given my name by the woman who has played for them in the past, but was out of town. i am so, so glad she gave her my number.

i'm always so flattered to be asked to play at funerals because they are so special to the people involved. i feel like there's a lot of trust placed in me to do it well. it's something the people involved remember for a long time to come. not that they remember my playing particularly, but the overall feeling. if i played really badly though, they probably would remember that! 

it was a group of about 25 people or so (bigger than our ward choir!), all children and grandchildren of the deceased. talk about a musically inclined family. i like to think that mom will live for another 20 years at least, and that will be our family someday at her funeral. :)

anyhoo, i got with them sunday evening to learn the song. it was a beautiful arrangement of "i stand all amazed". they learned it super quickly. i got with them again early(ish) monday before the funeral. they were amazing. there was also a small group of 3 women who sang "pie jesu" which was also just beautiful. 

they were talented, quick to learn, and the song was so much fun to play. it was a piano part with real substance. it was full of notes and dynamics and tough parts. on top of that, everyone was, of course, so super kind to me. basically, it was the most enjoyable time i've ever had playing for a funeral. they were all saying "thank you" to me, when i felt like i should be thanking them for the opportunity to play! 

today, i got a "thank you" card in the mail from one of the daughters. i don't even know which because there were so many of them and i didn't really have time to put names and faces together. thank you cards are always nice. it's nice to be acknowledged. but on top of that, there was a costco gift card inside it. wow. talk about twice blessed. it probably wasn't that big of a thing for her, but it's a huge thing for me!

how did THAT happen?

today i went to volleyball, like i always do on thursday mornings. when i got back, i hopped on fb. i'd gotten a wall post that said: 

"I have a package for you. Apparently the post office can't tell the diff between Christina West & Christine Wood...lol!!"

when i read the first sentence, i thought "oh, looks like she's been hacked." then i kept reading, and my confusion grew. 

you see, christine wood is in my ward, but not my neighbor. in fact, she lives about a mile away. on a street called white oak. i live on siskiyou. not at all similar. her address: 300. mine: 2595. also not at all similar. sure, her first name is christine, and her last name starts with a w. and has four letters, but i was always under the impression that they processed mail by first looking at the state, then city, then street, then house number,  then possibly name. but let's face it, even if everything else matches except the name they still deliver it to the address on the envelope/package. heck, mail doesn't really even have to have a name for them to deliver.

so, how, on earth, did my package wind up a mile away from my house at someone's house i just happen to know?

and the weirdest part: in the box was the garments i had ordered from slc for myself and paul! i assume that if it had ended up at maybe chrissy's neighbors' house they would've looked at the address said "wth?" and circled the address on it before stuffing it back in their mailbox to give the inept USPS another chance to get it to the right house. 

but maybe not. and that could've been awkward. plus, then i would've been annoyed that my stuff never showed up.

i'm not sure where the breakdown in that whole thing happened, but i don't think it was mere "coincidence" that it ended up at a ward member's house. even if said ward member does live a mile away.

'course, next time it would be nice if they could just get it to my house the first time. :) and i did get kind of a kick out of it, even if it was really bizarre.

are you there autumn?

it's september. in oregon. for some reason, i really expected it to be a little cooler by now. 

it's supposed to be 98* for the next two days. what's up with that?? i'm very very ready for cooler weather, soup, hot cider and sweatshirts. 

oh, and rain. i'm ready for rain.

the warmer weather is nice for exercising very early without freezing, but i'm not sure that's worth the trade-off of everything else. if i had a pool, i'd be happy to take it, but now, not as much.

come on autumn! the leaves are starting to turn and it's still in the 90s. that feels wrong. i hope it gets cooler soon!

unexpected blessings

when paul and i realized we were going to have to move to give us any hope of survival, i mentally prepared myself for a large sacrifice. see, i love the valley. well, mostly. i love what the valley has to offer so close. i love that you can make a day trip to the beach, or be up in the giant sequoias in less than two hours. i love that it doesn't get really cold, but there's enough to give me a break from the summer heat and to make me happy for the summer heat to come back. i love that so many kinds of fruits and vegetables don't just grow there, but thrive there. i don't so much love the smog and the dry, ugly nothingness of the undeveloped land. i also don't love the crime and the taxes.

so, though i was ready to move, i was worried the lord would need me someplace that i liked far less than the valley. and i would've gone willingly and cheerfully, but wasn't necessarily looking forward to it with excitement. and when paul got a job interview with a company in texas (which was the furthest he'd gotten with any company, sadly still is) i was steeling myself for a new adventure. i was even starting to get excited about it, looking at houses online, reading up about things to do. i wasn't happy about the distance from any family though, and it still in my heart didn't feel quite right. but i wasn't sure if that's because a part of me really didn't want to go or because it wasn't right. well, now i know. but because of that slight uneasiness i was a little relieved when he didn't get the job. disappointed too, of course, but relieved. and yet, i still felt like there was some big sacrifice coming.

then, we had to start the process of trying to figure out where we were going to go because we were still definitely moving. when paul said he'd felt drawn to oregon, i was surprised. and excited. 

could we really be sent somewhere we'd already discussed living "someday"? it almost seemed too easy. of course, it hasn't all been easy. far from it, but there have been so many blessings being here that it has made up for, in large part, all those things we hoped to get just by being obedient moving. financially, we're still struggling. more in some ways than we were before we moved. but in other ways we've been blessed so abundantly, i can hardly believe it.

it's beautiful here. they have four, distinct seasons (i'm really looking forward to fall). there's a lot to do and see here (though, really that's true almost anywhere if you have a sense of adventure). our ward is starting to feel like home and the more i get to know the people, the more i love them. there's an awesome group of women whom i share so much in common with. more so, probably than any of the places i've lived before. we play basketball and volleyball together. we share and laugh and get along easily together. last night, we had a ladies night out. we went to dinner and played volleyball. i can't believe i got so lucky to find--or get sent to--a place where there are so many women who think that's as great a night as i do!

at times like these, it's impossible to deny the lord knows and loves ME. though this move hasn't solved the problems we thought it was going to when we moved here, it has greatly blessed and enriched my life in ways that i never expected a year ago. 

and i am so grateful.