I think I know how an addict feels. It's that moment when you "fall off the wagon" and the overwhelming thought is "I thought I was doing so well, but I haven't made any progress at all!"
And it's so easy for an outsider to point out all the good things, but all you can do it shake your head and sigh, or cry and think of all the ways you should have handled it and all the things you did wrong. It's like a bad movie put on repeat in your head.
Of course that's silly to assume that one mistake, one relapse, nullifies all of the good and progress that has in fact happened, but it doesn't change the overwhelming feeling of failure. The despair and the constant "if only"s that go on in the thought process.
It's been a very bad afternoon and night. I'm drained emotionally, spiritually and physically. I need a break.
1 comment:
There is much work yet to be done on all sides, but much good has been accomplished in the last few years, much good. Those who don't make progress are those who either dwell on the mistakes or rush past them without addressing them. Slow progress is okay, moving forward and occasionally slipping backwards is simply being human. Its standing still that's a problem. You've had an intense month. You are very loved, and I have a lot of confidence that you'll keep moving forward. Love you.
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