Life sucks sometimes

last saturday our house was "broken" into. they stole our computer, printer, camera, keys and a very cheap ring (which i'm sure they thought was worth something). this sucks. you ever had that happen? and you just want to find the person who did it and say "you can have my computer if you really want it or need it that bad. really, it's just stuff to me, but please, PLEASE give me back my pictures that you stole. those are irreplaceable."

i know lots of people that use their memory cards, download pictures and then delete them to reuse said card. i didn't delete any of them, just bought more so that if something like this ever happened or my computer crashed or whatever, i'd still have those memories. i was shocked when i saw the empty computer desk, but my one consolation was that i still had all my pictures. but when paul discovered that something else that was missing was our camera...in the case...with all the cards, i cried. i was angry and hurt and sad.

we spent sunday trying to get things back in order. we obviously couldn't go to church since they had a key to the house (we think...we haven't been able to find paul's other set) and a key to the suburban. the locksmith came and replaced all our locks. just when we feel like we're going to be okay, and money came in somewhere that we didn't expect, it has to go out somewhere that we didn't expect. fortunately it was only about $100 to rekey our whole house. and to change the ignition cylinder in the suburban was only $15 (the cost of the part. it's great to have friends who know about things like cars and can help it). and it was actually really simple to fix.

this summer has been awful. i was expecting to actually have the first summer we weren't completely broke since we got married. life was going to be good. we were going to go camping and visiting family and friends and go to the beach, or even just the zoo, and maybe take a vacation or two. we haven't gotten to do any of those things. i hate being broke, but i hate the uncertainty of life more. i hate not being able to spend time making good memories with my husband and kids, but i hate the pressure and depression that paul's been feeling and the fear that creeps in more.

i know, i should count my blessings, and don't get me wrong, i am. i can't believe that we still have money (a decent amount) in savings, and we've been blessed with fantastic friends that have really showed their colors while we're struggling, and with family that prays for us constanly and really cares. because, it's nice just to know that someone cares--really cares and wonders and is concerned for our well being.

so thank you to everyone, thank you to HF for supporting us...but can i make a request? can we be done with this trial now? don't you think two break ins in less than a year is enough?

maybe he's trying to gear us up for moving. maybe this is his way of mentally preparing us for very big changes. well, if that's the case, bring it on because i think i'm there now. i'm ready for a change. i'm ready to follow wherever the path leads just to find some stability and security.

I'm ready for what comes next.

4th of july (better late than never?)

i've been bad about updating my blog recently. partly because i don't have a camera currently so i have no pictures to post and partly because things aren't super great here right now. but just so you know, we had a great time on the 4th. first thing, we had a ward party/picnic out behind the church building. paul spent all morning helping to cook and keith gave himself a nice fat lip on a bench (i think...i'm not quite sure). we have a great ward and have made so many friends.

after the ward party we headed down to tulare to see rachel cause i've missed her so! because the pool guy hasn't been doing a very good job at mom's we all went over to the morris's just down the street and had a great time playing in the pool for a couple hours. we went on the slide and had just a great time. keith is finally getting to really like the water again and get over this winter hiatus of no swimming. alexa LOVES the water and i'm so excited about that. she just splashes and kicks her little legs like crazy.

after we got our fill of sun and water we drove back to fresno, all took showers and got ready to go to buchanan high school for the freedom fest. we met daniel and tiffany netzley there and let the kids play, and drew and ella came too after she got off work at chuckchansi ball park. daniel got the tickets for free so it didn't cost any of us anything but gass. the firework show was awesome. it was really just a great 4th.

not great photos, but here some of the 4th i took on my phone. we gave alex a red vine...nice huh.