Tuesday, February 21, 2012

judging books

"you can't judge a book by it's cover"

a common saying. an apt saying even. 

and yet, we still always continue to try.

why is it so easy to make snap judgments based on appearance? even when we make a concerted conscious effort to avoid such shallowness. even when it's a small, minor judgement. frequently, it's unconscious, and yet somewhere, in the back of your mind there it is. 

sometimes it's based on looks, other times on dress, sometimes even just in the way a person moves. and those small things, the things that we perceive, either real or imagined sometimes keep us from opening up and going outside of ourselves to try to make friends. we can be our worst enemies.

i wonder what the world would be like if we were all blind.

Friday, February 17, 2012

running again

it's been almost two weeks since i've run. feels like it's been at least a month. i got new shoes. they're not as good at my old shoes sadly, but i don't have the money to just buy new ones so i will suck it up and deal with it unless they result in injury. i felt like i was going sooo slow, and i ran for less time. between the crap i've eaten in the last three weeks (okay, more like four probably) and the two weeks off (and sporadic running before that) and the new elevation and hills, i figured i'd build back up a bit. it was good to run again. i checked my run though and i guess i actually kept normal pace. wonder why i felt so sluggish? anyhoo, i'm excited to get back into a schedule. run MWFS and b-ball/v-ball on the 'T' days. 
All these fit active people are great motivation!

Thursday, February 16, 2012


tomorrow marks two weeks since we got here.

what?? how is that possible? it's a very strange and conflicting sensation to feel like you've been somewhere for a long time and yet still feel like almost everyone around you is a complete stranger. 

we've already been given a speaking assignment for next sunday, sigh. i knew it would come quickly, but that was really quick! course, they're acting like they're desperate for people because the ward was split back in the fall. i think they were just used to having a ton of people and talents because they still seem like a stronger ward than many i've been in previously.

part of the reason these two weeks have felt like more i think is because between trying to get supplies to put the house together, sports, and a well-timed RS activity i've been out of the house more in the last 2 weeks than probably the last 2 months of living in fresno. and it's been heaven. this place feels like my perfect place in so many ways. so many things i've been wanting, but had no access to in fresno. god has been so good to me! i feel ridiculously blessed.

my house is in order, (almost) everything has a place, and is even in it! we got rid of so much stuff, it's quite a relief. i'm just so . . . happy. and relieved. and excited. 

the only negative feelings i'm feeling right now is the realization setting in of the distance we are from all family. it still feels close, which is great because really it's a doable weekend (if we had the gas money anyway), but i'm starting to miss everyone. it's nice to know that we have plans to visit in june so at least it doesn't feel like it could be forever until we get to see family again, but still, it's tough. so i just want all my family and friends out there to know, 


P.S.   if anyone comes up this way for any reason (like just to visit...), please please, let us know. we'd love to see you!!

Sunday, February 12, 2012


the twins' personalities are starting to come out. and they totally make me laugh. 

a couple of days ago, we were sitting around in the living room and i can't even remember what exactly sparked it (whatever it was, it was minor), but i think paul took something from baz and baz got this pouty look on his face and looked at the ground. i laughed because it was so dramatic. and he looked up after a few seconds, and then looked back down and i said "aw, he's totally faking!" but it continued . . . and continued.

and then i said, "maybe he's not faking..." and just about the time i thought for sure he was really kind of upset, his head snapped up and with a twinkle in his eye he grinned a huge baz grin and giggled. yeah, he totally fooled me. and paul, i think.

he's done this before too. always with a distinct air of humor, like he can't wait to see our faces when we get the joke. i guess he thinks it's funny to pull one over on people. maybe he will be a prankster? or an actor?

and tonight, we had french toast for dinner. paul put the syrup on their food over at the counter so they didn't see it. so of course, they wanted syrup. but once we said the prayer and everyone started eating he seemed to forget about his desire for syrup and started eating like everyone else. i think he forgot temporarily because i put some cinnamon apples on his plate. so after the apples were gone he went to eat the french toast and remembered i guess. and after a few minutes i looked over at him.

and he had his elbows up on the table and his hands sitting on his fist as he looked at the table rather forlornly. and i said "freddy, what's wrong?" and paul, having not forgotten about his desire for syrup said "he wants syrup probably." i probably wouldn't have thought of it myself. so he pushed the syrup my way, and sure enough as i picked it up and opened the top he got smiley...and then giggly.

now this may seem like the same thing, but there was a key difference. baz was faking it for a laugh. freddy was not faking it at all. he was really quite sad that he didn't get syrup apparently.

but both incidents made me laugh. these guys are funny . . . and trouble. i love watching their personalities emerge though. I'm having so much fun with twins. :)