Sunday, September 25, 2011


why do you seem so elusive?

 if i don't hear something tomorrow i may just scream.

deep cleansing breaths....

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

fun with moving boxes...

because it's been far too long since i posted pictures of my little munchkins and because this was just too fun:

Monday, September 19, 2011


just so everyone knows, and by "everyone" i mean my blog readers, so all 4 of you, this is what's happening: paul and i drove up to concord last wednesday for an interview with swinerton incorporated located in san antonio, texas. paul did a good job in the interview and hopefully impressed him. 

we know for sure he did impress him enough that he said his resume would be "passed up" to the operations manager who would make the final decision. we also know that, tops, there were four guys contending for the job. the one interview/resume before him was also "passed up" and there were two after him. whether all four were passed up, we don't know. so it could be as great as a 50% chance of getting the job and as little as 25%. we were also told that we would know the outcome one way or another, at the latest, one week from today. 

we don't know if they will want to do another round of interviews or just hire based on recommendation of first interviewer/resumes. and we're not entirely sure of when they would want him if they do in fact offer him the job except it would be very quick. one, possibly two weeks. the projects start in october.

i'm starting to get really anxious, and excited, and--oy--emtionally invested. texas is a long way away from everyone. but, it would be so super great for paul to get his foot back in the door and build experience and contacts and maybe even start to put a little money back into savings. i'm sitting on pins and needles waiting and wondering and deciding what to plan. as hard as it was living the last two years in a "if"-type state, this is so much harder! knowing we're this close, but now knowing when, where, if, ever. . .it's kind of emotionally exhausting. i can't make plans or commitments and am getting tired of the phrase "we just don't know yet."

i know everyone's got their own things going on, but i'm going to ask because we can use all the help we can get; if you can remember us in our prayers (and i know many of you have been praying for us for a good long time) this week we would really appreciate it. 

Monday, September 12, 2011

settling in

is it weird that after almost 5 1/2 years of being a mom i just barely feel like i'm starting to settle in and enjoy it? 

to anyone who knows me, the fact that i don't really "like" kids would not come as a shock. i love my kids. love, love. really. but i wouldn't classify myself as a "kid person". and because of that it's been tough for me as a mom. in a lot of important ways it has really not come natural to me. 

but now, i feel like i'm really hitting my stride. i've always looked around at other parents and families and then looked at myself and my family and felt like i was missing something; like i just wasn't really getting it or someone forgot to tell me something, and then we had "a moment" several months back. at the time i thought it was just an exceptionally good day. but now i realize it was the beginning of the change. 

things are finally starting to feel different, in a good way. i feel like i'm settling in and becoming a little more patient, a little more loving, and a little more like a mom and a little less like someone playing house. maybe it's age? maybe it's my spiritual maturity? maybe it's just a consequence of time. i'm not really sure, but i'm really enjoying the feeling. and feeling like maybe i'm not completely hopeless after all.