more than halfway...

i'm feeling so good. i've lost between 4 and 5 pounds. i'm not completely sure because i didn't do an official beginning weigh-in. but either way, that's pretty good for 2 weeks.


i've discovered that something as simple as keeping cinnamon graham crackers in the house helps to make me feel like i'm getting something sweet without just killing my day. if i eat one or two i feel a lot better and the sugar craving is satisfied enough to leave me alone.


anyhoo, less than 2 weeks to go now, and i'm excited to see what my final weigh in will be. i still haven't decided if i will continue this for another 30 days or not. but even if i don't specifically, i will certainly be a lot more careful about what i eat.


i really need to do a post about the kids with lots of pictures. it's been so gloomy here recently. waiting for the sun to come out. i will soon though.

two weeks . . .

. . . and my willpower is fading. i mean, i'm not aching for a dozen cookies or anything. 


but maybe just one or two? 


on the other hand, i am losing weight. and though it's not a ton, it's right in the recommended-weekly-weight-loss range to be healthy and be able to keep it off. which means, i'm probably doing something right. 


which makes sense. in that i haven't taken any drastic measures, just eating more responsibly and exercising.


so, wish me luck. 


i'm starting to need it.

i cheated...

i did. i probably wouldn't have if i hadn't called it ahead of time, but i did, and it smelled good and looked good and kids faces were smeared with frosting, so i had one.


a cupcake that is. 


okay, okay two! but they were really short (paul didn't really distribute the batter evenly in the pans, hehe) and with minimal frosting. there were still a dozen left today, since it made two dozen. but i didn't even have a hard time resisting them as they sat there on the counter. and i never thought twice about sticking my finger in the frosting in the fridge. i did think about it once, but it was brief.


however, when we gave them to the kids again tonight and i watched them eat them the temptation came back. mmm, chocolate frosting on chocolate cake. but, i held strong. i stuck to my commitment. go me. 


i'm drawing some good parallels between this and gospel principles. and even if that's all i get out of this, i still say "win!"


like, for one, it's about 100x easier to resist the junk if it's just not in my house at all. it's not hard to not eat something you don't have. sure, i could test my strength and see how close i could get to the food without eating, but why put myself through that torture? the real strength comes in knowing i won't have to even resist the temptation because there's no way to fulfill it! there is no "strong enough". avoidance is always the best option.


also, it seems to be easier to limit and focus my spiritual (and mental and emotional) self when i've learned how to control my physical impulses. you don't have to "give in" just because it's there. it's possible to say no, and, in fact, gets easier the more you do it.


of course, none of this is ground-breaking stuff. seems like almost all of the analogies we use in the church are all basically the same, and we've heard just about all of them, but still. we should liken all things right? D&C 29:31 . . . yea, all things both spiritual and temporal—


and also D&C 29:34 . . . all things unto me are spiritual . . .


there's a couple others too, but i don't think anyone probably cares too much to read my enumerations of personal epiphany. 


so anyhoo, while it IS getting easier--slowly, steadily--there is still a long way to go. one day at a time. sometimes one hour at a time.

one week completed!

so i've officially made it one week (and two days) on my sugar fast. although, i have to say, i still feel like i'm getting too much sugar. they use WAY too much sugar in processed foods! it's so frequently the second or third ingredient that it's kind of ridiculous. but, i feel good. i would say the sugar cravings have decreased pretty substantially in just a week, though i still have a munching problem i've got to figure out how to get rid of. what is it about after dinner munching that seems to good and so necessary?? why do i always want to eat something after i've just eaten dinner? and that's the only time of day it's a problem. is it really just as simple as boredom or is it more? i wonder . . .


anyhoo, trying to really take advantage of this period, i've done green smoothies for lunch a couple days. which is perfect for me really cause i'm so lazy when it comes to lunch. if there's not something easy and handy i will frequently just neglect it. i feed my kids something totally unappealing to me because that's what they want and never get around to feeding myself. also, i'm running 3-4 days a week and playing other sports on 2 days. i wouldn't say i'm feeling amazing or have extra energy or anything, but i feel good just knowing i'm doing something really good for my body. and i have lost 2 lbs. or so, which is great. hopefully i can keep that up for the next few weeks. 


if nothing else, this week has taught me that it's not impossible to just pass on the crap sometimes. i went to a church thing the other night and, of course, there was dessert. but you know what? i didn't even have a hard time resisting. of course, it helped that we weren't sitting at tables and i wasn't sitting next to someone eating, but still, i think i would've been okay there too.


i'm even kind of glad that i've got 3 more weeks still. in fact, i'm thinking about extending this to 60 days. and then being really careful when i go back to normal, like one or two treats a week or something. also, the boys' second birthday is tuesday. the verdict is still out on whether i'm going to use a cheat day or not. i called one upfront to be honest about it, but not i'm not sure i want to mess this up. we'll see if i can do it though when i'm actually making the cake. that will be a good test i guess.

there's nothing quite like a swearing off junk food and sugar to make one really aware of one's mindless eating habits.


keith had a birthday party yesterday for a girl in his class. i don't know if the mom was planning for a lot of kids and didn't have a lot or if she just bought a lot of stuff, but keith came home with a whole BAG full of junk. literally. most of it is very much kid candy and doesn't appeal to me at all, but there was also a 3 musketeers mint in there (which i'd kind of like to try, but probably wouldn't buy for myself cause there's other things i'd get first). normally i would have asked for a small bite, and he would've shared because he's really good at sharing, but i was good. there's also a bin of stauffer's alphabet cookies on my counter. i usually only take a few at a time and usually only once or twice a day, but i guess that stuff adds up. and now that i'm doing this, i'm really thinking about everything i eat. but i've been good. it's only been a couple days, but still, small victories...


last night, i was even invited to a chocolate party. i guess there's a group of people who get together once a year and they all bring something homemade and just go chocolate crazy. i was so tempted to take her up on her offer to go, because i love chocolate and i just started, so i would've just pushed my start date back a couple days, but i didn't. i stayed strong! 


two days down. twenty-eight more to go. i got this! (<---said like George Lopez)

JUST SAY NO!

i love sugar. i love sweets. but i hate the way they make me feel. i hate the way i crave them and feel out of control. i hate the way i can't "just say no".

i'm a goal setting person. i do best when i set a clear goal, write it down, keep track along the way and let other people know so that i'm accountable. it helps build a stronger commitment. 

so, here it is. my commitment: for the next 30 days i'm committing to give up sugar. obviously i can't give up ALL sugar because it's in almost everything, so let me specify as much as i can. no desserts, no candy, no soda, etc. i'm also going to include obvious junk foods such as fast foods. i just need to get it out of my system and this seems like a good way to do it.

now is the perfect time to do it because we have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon. no one to visit and no one visiting, and no major holidays coming up. there IS a birthday coming in two weeks (two actually), so i'm calling a cheat day for that right now, but only on the 13th and a normal sized piece.

i can't promise i won't mess up, but i can promise i will jump back on the wagon as quickly as possible. i'm partly doing this because it's something i've needed and wanted to for a long time, and partly to support my sister who's doing something even more bold and brave. you can read about it here. i couldn't join her in her fast, due to a lot of reasons, but i wanted to support her in a way i could.

i can do this!