Sunday, March 29, 2009

No Mija, you fluffy

I love to read other people's blogs. People I love, people I like, people I barely know and people I don't know at all. I love to read what other people have to say. After having read so many others' thoughts though I wonder if people think I'm shallow. I know my blog is fluffy and devoid of real emotional depth, and I certainly don't consider myself a "deep thinker" (not by any stretch of the imagination!) but I really do have deeper thoughts (sometimes...sometimes that's really all there is =).

I admire others who can so readily share things with other people, even if blogging about it is the only way they are able. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some things that should be kept private and personal, but there is something to be said, too, for an ability to share and talk about yourself and your feelings openly. I have a really hard time with this.

There's something recently that I've been thinking about constantly and yet I find myself keeping it entirely to myself. I haven't even talked with Paul about it really. I mean, I think if I told him he would listen and nod and say "yeah, I know you feel that way", but we haven't really talked about it in a specific context.

I have this fear that others will mistake my intentions, I think. I'm not terribly articulate when it comes to expressing my real feelings/opinions about things that are really important to me. I find it hard for me to accurately verbalize my feelings and ideas, which has gotten me into trouble before. I don't want things I say to be misunderstood so I find myself just not sharing.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post except to say that I'm sorry if you find my blog trite and shallow. Though, even in that I fear I'm being arrogant assuming others care that much when they read it. I'm sure they don't come to MY blog for insight and enlightenment. I've used this mostly as a communication tool, not a journaling outlet.

My real paper journal, on the other hand, well it can be rather fascinating. . .I think. =)

2 comments:

Becky said...

don't apologize and don't assume that everyone will take it the wrong way (some will and some you will mean to do so) and it's beyond your control. i always try to think about it like i was talking to my adult children. i want them to have a piece of me that they won't get by being around "mommy me" all the time. besides, in person - there's not a trite or irrelevant thing about you...let it out, sister - let it out. bb

Christa said...

Hmm, that is an interesting concept, writing to my children. I think that might make writing a lot easier actually. Thanks for the idea!