mom and dad west were thoughtful enough to buy the groupon for the fresno phil. i haven't been to the symphony in a long time. because of the exhausting 2 weeks preceding the concert i was hesitant to go and really thought seriously about skipping out. in fact, if someone else hadn't bought the tickets, i probably would have. but, i'm really glad i didn't.
as soon as it started and i heard the strings play i heaved this big sigh of contentment and thought "yes, i've been missing this."
life is crazy and sometimes it's hard to find time even for our passions in life when you're taking care of 4 (some could argue 5) other people. from time to time i've thought to myself that i just don't know if i love music enough to continue working on it while struggling just to survive kids and life. and that it's too late to really DO anything with the talent. don't get me wrong, i will never completely abandon it or stop playing the piano, but i feel at times that i'm happy with the current level of my abilities and don't have much desire to continue to work.
then something happens.
i went to time out for women and listened to michael mclean and john bytheway (who is not a musician but showed us a video of him playing the banjo which he learned in the last few years--awesome!) and hilary weeks and thought "this is what i want to do! it's not even kind of too late. they're all in their 40's and 50's. i can spend the next 1 to 2 decades really learning my craft." and i realize i really do love music and want to continue magnifying my talent.
then i forgot again.
then i went to the symphony and my soul sighed in delight. and i remembered my love. and why it's been my love from the first time i started the trumpet. i'm certain it's meant to be part of my life. somehow, some way. and i think that's it's supposed to be a part of my life that i share with others and not just something i do. i'm certain there's a whole huge area of my talent that i haven't even tapped yet.
but i think i'm going to need some constant reminding for awhile because right now, some days it's all i can do just to keep my head above water...