Embarrassment - by farroutwest on Polyvore.com
This is my
"Is that your mom??"
outfit, because every mom should have one.
"Is that your mom??"
outfit, because every mom should have one.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
No Mija, you fluffy
I love to read other people's blogs. People I love, people I like, people I barely know and people I don't know at all. I love to read what other people have to say. After having read so many others' thoughts though I wonder if people think I'm shallow. I know my blog is fluffy and devoid of real emotional depth, and I certainly don't consider myself a "deep thinker" (not by any stretch of the imagination!) but I really do have deeper thoughts (sometimes...sometimes that's really all there is =).
I admire others who can so readily share things with other people, even if blogging about it is the only way they are able. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some things that should be kept private and personal, but there is something to be said, too, for an ability to share and talk about yourself and your feelings openly. I have a really hard time with this.
There's something recently that I've been thinking about constantly and yet I find myself keeping it entirely to myself. I haven't even talked with Paul about it really. I mean, I think if I told him he would listen and nod and say "yeah, I know you feel that way", but we haven't really talked about it in a specific context.
I have this fear that others will mistake my intentions, I think. I'm not terribly articulate when it comes to expressing my real feelings/opinions about things that are really important to me. I find it hard for me to accurately verbalize my feelings and ideas, which has gotten me into trouble before. I don't want things I say to be misunderstood so I find myself just not sharing.
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post except to say that I'm sorry if you find my blog trite and shallow. Though, even in that I fear I'm being arrogant assuming others care that much when they read it. I'm sure they don't come to MY blog for insight and enlightenment. I've used this mostly as a communication tool, not a journaling outlet.
My real paper journal, on the other hand, well it can be rather fascinating. . .I think. =)
I admire others who can so readily share things with other people, even if blogging about it is the only way they are able. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some things that should be kept private and personal, but there is something to be said, too, for an ability to share and talk about yourself and your feelings openly. I have a really hard time with this.
There's something recently that I've been thinking about constantly and yet I find myself keeping it entirely to myself. I haven't even talked with Paul about it really. I mean, I think if I told him he would listen and nod and say "yeah, I know you feel that way", but we haven't really talked about it in a specific context.
I have this fear that others will mistake my intentions, I think. I'm not terribly articulate when it comes to expressing my real feelings/opinions about things that are really important to me. I find it hard for me to accurately verbalize my feelings and ideas, which has gotten me into trouble before. I don't want things I say to be misunderstood so I find myself just not sharing.
I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post except to say that I'm sorry if you find my blog trite and shallow. Though, even in that I fear I'm being arrogant assuming others care that much when they read it. I'm sure they don't come to MY blog for insight and enlightenment. I've used this mostly as a communication tool, not a journaling outlet.
My real paper journal, on the other hand, well it can be rather fascinating. . .I think. =)
Friday, March 27, 2009
Why Not?
Untitled - by farroutwest on Polyvore.com
This is my "comfy, but still cute" outfit. The everyday one.
But he's not even three yet. . .
Last week (or two maybe?) David (Paul's brother) called and asked if they could take Keith to Disneyland (and San Diego too I guess) cause they're going down there during spring break and apparently decided Disneyland's not enough work with 2 children under 12. Well, at the time I thought I was going to UT. Now I'm not.
David called again yesterday asking if I was going. When I said no, he asked if they could take Keith. Now, for normal reasons, this made me nervous anyway, but when I thought I was going to UT it was okay cause I could say no without having to think about it. Again with the nervousness. . .which only got (much) worse when they tell me just how long they want to take him.
They want to take him like the 3rd of April (next Friday I guess actually) all the way until the 8th.
Wow, that's a long time. Five days and nights? The longest Keith has ever been away from us is two nights when we went to Frisco and he stayed with Mom who he's, by far, the closest to.
Hmm, I'm sure they're waiting for a phone call with the answer. Any thoughts?
David called again yesterday asking if I was going. When I said no, he asked if they could take Keith. Now, for normal reasons, this made me nervous anyway, but when I thought I was going to UT it was okay cause I could say no without having to think about it. Again with the nervousness. . .which only got (much) worse when they tell me just how long they want to take him.
They want to take him like the 3rd of April (next Friday I guess actually) all the way until the 8th.
Wow, that's a long time. Five days and nights? The longest Keith has ever been away from us is two nights when we went to Frisco and he stayed with Mom who he's, by far, the closest to.
Hmm, I'm sure they're waiting for a phone call with the answer. Any thoughts?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Chuch is true, the Chuch is true. . .
Two Sunday I was called to be on the Enrichment Committee. And then I was thrown in with both feet. The RS birthday dinner was scheduled and already mostly worked out, but I sure did a lot of work today to help it come off smoothly. It was fun and it's nice to have a calling where part of the calling is getting together with other women to socialize and plan. I love the other women on the committee and am having such a fun time getting to know everyone.
The birthday dinner came off great and I had a wonderful time. I think enrichment is a program that's undergoing a remodel, I guess you could say. The ward has SO many new people and it's getting younger so things are changing and we're trying to revitalize some of the programs in the ward as this was used to be primarily people over 50. I spent all day working to do my part and help this thing go off well. Wow, I never realized how much work goes into these things. All I ever did was show up, but it's way different being on this side.
Anyhoo (yes, Becky, I hijacked your spelling cause I really like it) last night I went out to get something and Paul said the choir director had called. I didn't get back until after 10:00 so I obviously didn't call back. I was very busy today and found a message on my phone this afternoon again from her. I didn't call back partly because I was too busy and partly because I figured I'd see her at RS. I did. She came up to me first thing and said "oh, it is you!" then proceeded to talk to me about choir. She's been trying to get me to come to choir and I've been once, but honestly with a 2 year old and 4 month old, it's really difficult for me to stay after church. A few weeks ago she came up to me at church and said "this is the piece we're working on right now, I'm not sure when we're going to perform it. There's this violin solo over the top, but we don't have any violin players so you're going to play it on the piano."
Yes, this was how she was "asking" me to play for choir. . .I guess. Let me just point out, there is no called choir accompanist (I think there should be--I've had the calling bef0re), but they do have someone who regularly plays. This is ONE line, because it's for violing, so only one line and one note at a time. . .seriously? You can't find someone else to play this ONE line? I can count off the top of my head at least 5 other piano players in the ward and I don't know that many people in the ward. Anyhoo, that was forgotten by me because it wasn't important.
Tonight, she comes up to me a second time before she leaves and gives me a piece of music and basically says "Ella can't play it so you're going to play it. This is for Easter Sunday" (I'm paraphrasing, but the gist is the same. There was no question mark anywhere in any of her sentences). She brings up the other piece again and I politely say "you know, it's only one line, this would be a great opportunity to let someone else get a chance to devlope their talent." To which she just stares at me like that is not an option. The other piece is no more difficult than a hymn from our own hymnal and I say "Well, if I can sightread this I'm sure someone can practice it and learn it."
Same stare.
Man, I'm so frustrated. She heard music major and thought "okay, I've got my woman." I think sometimes they forget that this isn't about perfection or having the best piano player play all the time. It's about developing talents and sharing the spirit. The only reason I can play the way I do is because I DO it. When I started playing for YW it was AWFUL (just ask Ronda Braithwaite, haha), but I did it. I pushed through. I think someone else needs to have that chance. I love to play and I don't mind helping, but I get tired of people telling me what to do, thinking I am their only option or making assumptions. I'm contenplating spending Easter with mom in her ward. . .that's a good day to spent with family, right?
Okay, rant over. I know I rant a lot on here, but it's the easiest way to vent, and then if people don't want to hear it they can just skip it, but it makes me feel better. Sorry if you're tired of these. =)
The birthday dinner came off great and I had a wonderful time. I think enrichment is a program that's undergoing a remodel, I guess you could say. The ward has SO many new people and it's getting younger so things are changing and we're trying to revitalize some of the programs in the ward as this was used to be primarily people over 50. I spent all day working to do my part and help this thing go off well. Wow, I never realized how much work goes into these things. All I ever did was show up, but it's way different being on this side.
Anyhoo (yes, Becky, I hijacked your spelling cause I really like it) last night I went out to get something and Paul said the choir director had called. I didn't get back until after 10:00 so I obviously didn't call back. I was very busy today and found a message on my phone this afternoon again from her. I didn't call back partly because I was too busy and partly because I figured I'd see her at RS. I did. She came up to me first thing and said "oh, it is you!" then proceeded to talk to me about choir. She's been trying to get me to come to choir and I've been once, but honestly with a 2 year old and 4 month old, it's really difficult for me to stay after church. A few weeks ago she came up to me at church and said "this is the piece we're working on right now, I'm not sure when we're going to perform it. There's this violin solo over the top, but we don't have any violin players so you're going to play it on the piano."
Yes, this was how she was "asking" me to play for choir. . .I guess. Let me just point out, there is no called choir accompanist (I think there should be--I've had the calling bef0re), but they do have someone who regularly plays. This is ONE line, because it's for violing, so only one line and one note at a time. . .seriously? You can't find someone else to play this ONE line? I can count off the top of my head at least 5 other piano players in the ward and I don't know that many people in the ward. Anyhoo, that was forgotten by me because it wasn't important.
Tonight, she comes up to me a second time before she leaves and gives me a piece of music and basically says "Ella can't play it so you're going to play it. This is for Easter Sunday" (I'm paraphrasing, but the gist is the same. There was no question mark anywhere in any of her sentences). She brings up the other piece again and I politely say "you know, it's only one line, this would be a great opportunity to let someone else get a chance to devlope their talent." To which she just stares at me like that is not an option. The other piece is no more difficult than a hymn from our own hymnal and I say "Well, if I can sightread this I'm sure someone can practice it and learn it."
Same stare.
Man, I'm so frustrated. She heard music major and thought "okay, I've got my woman." I think sometimes they forget that this isn't about perfection or having the best piano player play all the time. It's about developing talents and sharing the spirit. The only reason I can play the way I do is because I DO it. When I started playing for YW it was AWFUL (just ask Ronda Braithwaite, haha), but I did it. I pushed through. I think someone else needs to have that chance. I love to play and I don't mind helping, but I get tired of people telling me what to do, thinking I am their only option or making assumptions. I'm contenplating spending Easter with mom in her ward. . .that's a good day to spent with family, right?
Okay, rant over. I know I rant a lot on here, but it's the easiest way to vent, and then if people don't want to hear it they can just skip it, but it makes me feel better. Sorry if you're tired of these. =)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Stella
This is Stella. Last Saturday she wandered into our yard and hung out for awhile. It took her quite a while to warm up to us enough to want to play with us. Paul kept trying to play with her, but she was wary. I finally came outside and she came right up to me and wanted to play! We decided if she was still around later that day we'd keep her. We got back Saturday night and she was nowhere to be found. Sunday we were taking a walk and saw "FOUND" posters with her picture on them. On Tuesday or Wednesday Paul called the people and asked if anyone had claimed her, and they said no. He told them if no one claimed her we would take her (if they didn't want to keep her), so today we went and picked her up again. She's a good dog and Keith likes her a lot. She's pretty mellow (for a small dog) and quite smart it seems. She also likes to play fetch, which is cool cause I love to throw the tennis ball around. So, we like her. Don't ask where we came up with Stella, it just sorta came up and we both decided we liked it. Keith's made an instant friend.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Create
I found this on a friend of a friend's blog (yes, I am a blog stalker. Chances are if they're on your list I've read their blog at least once.) and thought it was so powerful. Whoever edited this video did a fantastic job. I get chills every time I watch it. I just had to share.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Some Pictures. . .
The others should be here tomorrow or Friday hopefully, but Janette sent me some in my e-mail so enjoy!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Booyah!
Notice my new drop-down menu to the left below all the pictures (though if it's too far down in the window, it "drops" up. Hahaha, yes, I'm a nerd). Yes, that's right folks, I'm a computer genius. Hahaha, not really. My sister Melissa wrote sent me the codes 'cause she was sick and tired of the ridiculously long list on her own blog so she wrote up some "basic" (her word-it's beyond me) HTML to get rid of it. So, THANKS Lissa; you rock!
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