Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Alexandra Bailey West
Alexandra Bailey West was born yesterday, November 16th, at 10:17 AM after 16 hours of labor, and one awesome epidural, haha. She was 6 lb., 13 oz, (she was kinda in between, they rounded up) and 20 inches long. Unfortunately I don't have the pictures here on my computer to share yet, and they're all on mom's camera, but you can go to the website of the photo people who took her picture at the hospital and look at those if you want. The site is www.photonursery.com. The ID is 10100581 and the password is my name (not Alexandra). I will write about the details more later. I'm so happy!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Newest Nephew
This is Clark Abram McDonald. Born Tuesday, November 6th to Melissa and Nathan McDonald: 7 lb, 8 oz and 20 in. long.
Monday, November 10, 2008
I've got good news, and bad news . . .
The good news is, the doctor's willing to let me go a little longer, even possibly all the way to 42 weeks (though I don't think I want to go that long) to let me try to go into labor by myself. The bad news is, that means that it's still a waiting game and it could be several more days until we actually get to see this baby and figure out whether it's a boy or a girl! So . . . such is life. However, I'm still convinced that the baby's waiting for mimi and grandpa to get back from UT, so maybe Wednesday?
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Tomorrow morning I go in to see what is going on with this baby. I will post a note tomorrow with all the info and let you know what is going on! But, make no mistake about it, this baby will make an appearance no later than Wednesday and quite possibly earlier!
And, yay for Melissa's new baby boy, Clark. I'm so happy for her. Love you Lissa and good job!
And, yay for Melissa's new baby boy, Clark. I'm so happy for her. Love you Lissa and good job!
A New Level of Understanding
I was talking to my sister Becky online tonight and she asked how I've been doing. My last blog was quite a "downer" and it was clear I was having a hard time dealing with the news. We started talking and I decided I should share some of the thoughts I've had and some of the conclusions I've come to. These last few days have been quite tough for me. It is heartbreaking and disturbing to learn that someone you so admired and looked up to could so something so awful and degrading to himself and others. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this the last few days. Mostly because something like this doesn't just go away or float to the back of your mind. It's been an interesting few days, and though I wish this kind of thing on no one, and I hate that this had to happen, at least I can say that I, personally, have become just a little better through it.
It's amazing to me that even from the beginning of this, though my emotions have ranged from outright shock and disbelief so sorrow, almost no where in that range of emotions have I felt anger. At least not to the individual who committed such unspeakable crimes. I have to admit, I have felt anger towards Satan. Anger that he's laughing, anger that it's so easy for him, anger at the people on this earth who really are bad people through and through, who choose to be his servants and seek to destroy others. However, all I've really felt for Ray is pity and sorrow and some personal disappointment. I understand now, just a LITTLE bit more how the Savior feels for us. I can understand how he can "love the sinner" while "hating the sin". Don't get me wrong, what he did was beyond wrong, and I would never defend his behavior, but I can love him while still hating what he did.
Something else that I've been thinking about is that it amazes me that there are really very few inherently "bad" or inherently "good" traits. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that every personality trait we were born with was for good. We have learned to use those traits in a bad way, or associate them with bad things. There are some that are just bad, but most traits, I believe, were given to us to help us, not hinder us. For example, things that we usually think of as bad like stubbornness or being critical. We can be stubborn in living the gospel. Now, when it's something like that we probably wouldn't call it stubbornness, but being "stalwart" or "unyielding" and those are great things to be! Being critical is essential to living the gospel, especially in these times we live in. We must be critical about the things we let ourselves (and our children) do and watch and listen to. But, it can become dangerous when we're critical of other people. Curiosity, the thing that got him into trouble I think, is a great thing to have. It leads us to knowledge, to enlightenment, and people to the gospel. But, it can also lead us down very dark and addictive paths. And that's the most dangerous because we can never satisfy our curiosity about dark things because there's always more to be curious about. The level of curiosity is ever increasing and it becomes impossible to stop; then, of course, habits (and addictions) are formed and it's not about curiosity anymore, but it's too late to go back.
Basically, though it's been a tough week (or however long it's been. I can't even remember anymore because my perception of time is so screwed up waiting for this baby to get here!) it has been a good week too. I'm grateful to know that there's always hope. And I'm grateful to have a new perspective. This, strangely, has made it just a little easier for me to "love the sinner and hate the sin".
On a side note (kind of) if you haven't read the "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis, I recommend it. It's extremely enlightening and provides a rare perspective. Also, the book "The Peacegiver" by James L. Ferrell. It is one I think should be read every few months to remind us. It explains how the atonement is for the victim just as much as the perpetrator. Read it. I think you will be pleasantly surprised and enlightened.
It's amazing to me that even from the beginning of this, though my emotions have ranged from outright shock and disbelief so sorrow, almost no where in that range of emotions have I felt anger. At least not to the individual who committed such unspeakable crimes. I have to admit, I have felt anger towards Satan. Anger that he's laughing, anger that it's so easy for him, anger at the people on this earth who really are bad people through and through, who choose to be his servants and seek to destroy others. However, all I've really felt for Ray is pity and sorrow and some personal disappointment. I understand now, just a LITTLE bit more how the Savior feels for us. I can understand how he can "love the sinner" while "hating the sin". Don't get me wrong, what he did was beyond wrong, and I would never defend his behavior, but I can love him while still hating what he did.
Something else that I've been thinking about is that it amazes me that there are really very few inherently "bad" or inherently "good" traits. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that every personality trait we were born with was for good. We have learned to use those traits in a bad way, or associate them with bad things. There are some that are just bad, but most traits, I believe, were given to us to help us, not hinder us. For example, things that we usually think of as bad like stubbornness or being critical. We can be stubborn in living the gospel. Now, when it's something like that we probably wouldn't call it stubbornness, but being "stalwart" or "unyielding" and those are great things to be! Being critical is essential to living the gospel, especially in these times we live in. We must be critical about the things we let ourselves (and our children) do and watch and listen to. But, it can become dangerous when we're critical of other people. Curiosity, the thing that got him into trouble I think, is a great thing to have. It leads us to knowledge, to enlightenment, and people to the gospel. But, it can also lead us down very dark and addictive paths. And that's the most dangerous because we can never satisfy our curiosity about dark things because there's always more to be curious about. The level of curiosity is ever increasing and it becomes impossible to stop; then, of course, habits (and addictions) are formed and it's not about curiosity anymore, but it's too late to go back.
Basically, though it's been a tough week (or however long it's been. I can't even remember anymore because my perception of time is so screwed up waiting for this baby to get here!) it has been a good week too. I'm grateful to know that there's always hope. And I'm grateful to have a new perspective. This, strangely, has made it just a little easier for me to "love the sinner and hate the sin".
On a side note (kind of) if you haven't read the "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis, I recommend it. It's extremely enlightening and provides a rare perspective. Also, the book "The Peacegiver" by James L. Ferrell. It is one I think should be read every few months to remind us. It explains how the atonement is for the victim just as much as the perpetrator. Read it. I think you will be pleasantly surprised and enlightened.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Super Depressing News (sorry to be such a bummer...)
I got onto my facebook today just to look around and saw that a friend of mine had posted her status as "sooo sad, almost to the point of being sick." When someone commented on her status to ask why, her response was that her favorite teacher from high school had been arrested. I knew who that was. I googled his name and found the news spots. Mr. Ferenci was arrested this morning at his house in Visalia. The most disturbing/upsetting part about that: it was on charges of child pornography.
I don't know what to say. I'm so saddened by this news that it makes me cry. Wow, I totally didn't see that one coming. I almost wish that it had been just an inappropriate relationship with a student, because, well they're teenagers and everyone gets stupid every now and then. But something like child porn means it wasn't a one time thing, and it wasn't just a slip in judgment, though it was certainly that. Those 3 years in band, including all together 6 (I think) band classes in 3 years, are some of the best of high school. Band is the one thing that really made lasting, awesome memories of high school for me. Fortunately, I can separate the memories and the man that I know now, but it makes me desperately sad to see another person caught up in Satan's web.
How does he do it so consistently? It starts out so innocently, or at least without bad intention. There's an image that usually shocks first, then arouses curiosity. It makes me so angry that Satan has perfected this attack on us. I wish I had words to express how I'm really feeling right now, but they won't come, and I'm not terribly articulate about such things. My only consolation is that I have enough gospel understanding and knowledge to be able to feel sorrow for him rather anger. I feel sorry that he got caught up in Satan's web, and though I don't excuse his behavior, I can still love the good part of the man. Nobody (almost nobody) is either wholly good or wholly evil. If they were it'd be so much easier to spot these people. Instead, there are mostly good people that get caught up in bad things, and though they may try to cut off the evil person it gets much to strong, much to quickly. But, that is not to say that all the good about that person has vanished, though, over time that, too, will be stripped. I'm devastated.
I don't know what to say. I'm so saddened by this news that it makes me cry. Wow, I totally didn't see that one coming. I almost wish that it had been just an inappropriate relationship with a student, because, well they're teenagers and everyone gets stupid every now and then. But something like child porn means it wasn't a one time thing, and it wasn't just a slip in judgment, though it was certainly that. Those 3 years in band, including all together 6 (I think) band classes in 3 years, are some of the best of high school. Band is the one thing that really made lasting, awesome memories of high school for me. Fortunately, I can separate the memories and the man that I know now, but it makes me desperately sad to see another person caught up in Satan's web.
How does he do it so consistently? It starts out so innocently, or at least without bad intention. There's an image that usually shocks first, then arouses curiosity. It makes me so angry that Satan has perfected this attack on us. I wish I had words to express how I'm really feeling right now, but they won't come, and I'm not terribly articulate about such things. My only consolation is that I have enough gospel understanding and knowledge to be able to feel sorrow for him rather anger. I feel sorry that he got caught up in Satan's web, and though I don't excuse his behavior, I can still love the good part of the man. Nobody (almost nobody) is either wholly good or wholly evil. If they were it'd be so much easier to spot these people. Instead, there are mostly good people that get caught up in bad things, and though they may try to cut off the evil person it gets much to strong, much to quickly. But, that is not to say that all the good about that person has vanished, though, over time that, too, will be stripped. I'm devastated.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Quick Update
I know I need to put up pictures from Halloween, but since it is such a PAIN to upload pictures from my camera to my computer, I've been putting it off. Keith was a cute little scarecrow and had a great time trick-or-treating for the first time. He caught on very quickly and pulled in a pretty good haul too. His favorite part of the night though, I think was getting to be with all his cousins. He was having such a blast with everybody that when it was time to leave, we actually got resistance from him, which we usually don't get.
Everyone's been asking (quite understandably so) what is going on with me and the baby, any contractions, etc. Well, here's the 411. I went into the doctor today and she examined me (yuck, what a pain). She reported that I was at a "1.5" or a "roomy 1" which makes me very happy. I know that doesn't sound like much, but with Keith I was still totally closed until AFTER his due date and I was only at about a 3 by the time we went into the hospital, so I was quite pleased to hear this news. I have been having contractions this morning, though nothing terribly special. They've been quite mild and rather spaced, but I'm not losing hope that these might turn into "the real deal." Hopefully, in a couple days or so, I will have good news to report (even if it's only that I'm in "real" labor and slowly making my way toward the hospital). This is doubly important because if nothing has happened by next Monday they will schedule me for a c-section, which I would like to avoid at all costs! Wish me luck, hopefully I'll have good news very soon!
Everyone's been asking (quite understandably so) what is going on with me and the baby, any contractions, etc. Well, here's the 411. I went into the doctor today and she examined me (yuck, what a pain). She reported that I was at a "1.5" or a "roomy 1" which makes me very happy. I know that doesn't sound like much, but with Keith I was still totally closed until AFTER his due date and I was only at about a 3 by the time we went into the hospital, so I was quite pleased to hear this news. I have been having contractions this morning, though nothing terribly special. They've been quite mild and rather spaced, but I'm not losing hope that these might turn into "the real deal." Hopefully, in a couple days or so, I will have good news to report (even if it's only that I'm in "real" labor and slowly making my way toward the hospital). This is doubly important because if nothing has happened by next Monday they will schedule me for a c-section, which I would like to avoid at all costs! Wish me luck, hopefully I'll have good news very soon!
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